Love’s Persuasive Power

Years ago when I was engaged to be married, my future father-in-law looked me in the eye and said, “Why do you want to marry my daughter?”

I stammered, “Because I love her.”

He said, “What do you mean when you say that?”

I was flustered. I didn’t realize there were going to be any follow-up questions!

Love is difficult to comprehend, but we can’t live without it.

The Importance of Love

A person without love is like a tire without air or a car without fuel. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35, New International Version). Love should be a distinguishing characteristic of Jesus’ followers.

According to Jesus, the greatest commandments are to love God and love our neighbors (Matthew 22:37-40). The apostle Paul put love first in the fruit of Spirit (Galatians 5:22); and in First Corinthians 13 (which is far more than a sweet little poem to read at weddings), he made several hard-hitting points.

the party and a clever conversationalist. You can be an eloquent speaker who communicates fluently in different languages. But without love, you’re just making noise.

scholar like Einstein or an inventor like Edison. You can use logical arguments and give stirring lectures. But without love, intellectual knowledge means little. “Knowledge puffs up while love builds up” (1 Corinthians 8:1).

they aren’t motivated by love.

The Definition of Love

Is love mainly affection—a warm fuzzy feeling? Is it mainly attraction—sexual magnetism and romance?

The Greek word translated “love” in 1 Corinthians 13 is agape, the love of costly commitment. Agape appears in John 3:16, which says, “God so loved the world.” And in Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives.”

Someone defined love as “the zealous, selfless seeking of another’s true good.” It’s more than mere affection or attraction. It’s action—choosing to act in the best interests of others.

The Origin of Love

Where does love come from? The Bible says, “God is love” (1 John 4:16). While love isn’t God’s only attribute, it’s an important characteristic. And the very existence of love provides subtle but compelling evidence for the existence of God.

If we are merely the result the impersonal plus time plus chance . . . if human life is simply about the survival of the fittest . . . then why do we feel the impulse to be unselfish and put someone else’s interests above our own? Someone said, “Love is wanting to do what you don’t want to do . . . because you want to.”

C. S. Lewis argued that if you were walking by a lake and you saw someone drowning, two competing impulses would arise in your mind: (1) You would feel the impulse to dive in and try to save the person who is drowning, but (2) Your natural instinct for self-preservation would tell you not to dive in, but to keep yourself safe. Why do we realize it’s more noble to risk our own lives and try to save someone else?

Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). That’s hard to explain if we are merely the product of impersonal evolution. But love makes sense if we are created in the image of God.

The Apologetics of Love

Love has profound implications for apologetics. For one thing, love should be our motivation for sharing and defending the faith. “Christ’s love compels us” (2 Corinthians 5:14). Peter wrote, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15). The goal isn’t to quarrel and bark instructions, but to treat others with gentleness and respect.

Love has persuasive power. Compassion makes our arguments more convincing, but without love, our arguments sound hollow. Sheldon Vanauken wrote in his book, A Severe Mercy, “The best argument for Christianity is Christians: their joy, their certainty, their completeness. But the strongest argument against Christianity is also Christians—when they are somber and joyless, when they are self-righteous and smug in complacent consecration, when they are narrow and repressive, then Christianity dies a thousand deaths.” It’s trite but true: people won’t care how much we know unless they know how much we care.

George Washington Carver said, “How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life, you will have been all of these.”

I find the evidence for the Christian faith reasonable and compelling. I’m convinced the Bible is true and it puts my faith in Jesus on solid ground. But I also believe because I have seen God’s love in . . .

When I see God’s love at work, it makes it easier for me to believe.

If you are a follower of Jesus, are you loving others well? Are you listening to their questions? Do you care about their hurts?

Do others see in you the astonishing, redemptive, sacrificial love of Jesus Christ?

This article is adapted from a video presentation by David Faust called “The Apologetics of Love” created for KAPOL (Kontakt Apologetics, https://www.gokmusa.org/)—a ministry led by Brett Seybold that serves skeptics and those in post-Christian societies through personal evangelism, training Christians and congregations, and cultural engagement. To view this video and others, go to www.youtube.com/@KAPOLvideo/videos.