Sharpening Arrows

Is parenthood harder today than it was in previous generations? Not necessarily. Has there ever been a time when Christian parents haven't fallen on their knees in prayer wondering, "Will our children hold onto the faith and values we've tried to impart to them? Will they make wise choices about marriage, money, and work? Will the world's temptations overpower them?"

But today there are extra reasons for concern: "Will our teens drive safely on the highway? What are they learning in school? How can we prevent them from yielding to the destructive allure of drugs and alcohol? How can we help our children be pure in a culture where music, movies, and TV shows expose them to sexual themes and harsh language at increasingly younger ages? Conscientious parents may wish they could just move their families to a desert Island and flee from the pressures of the world.

But escapism isn't an option—especially since Jesus commands his disciples to go "into the world" even though we are not "of the world" (John 17:15-18).

Psalm 127 presents an interesting perspective on the tensions of parenthood. First there's the tender side: "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him." Then there's the tougher side: "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

Why compare children to arrows in the hands of a warrior?

An arrow has to be sharpened, carefully fashioned to be straight and strong. Likewise, a child needs the sharpening influence of parents who love and discipline him.

An arrow has to be aimed. So does a child. Remember the old line, "I shot an arrow into the air, it fell to earth I know not where"? Hey, you could be arrested for that! It's dangerous and irresponsible to fire arrows wildly and indiscriminately. Likewise, children need direction and guidance.

An arrow has to be released. So does a child. We can't hang onto our children; instead, we must prepare them to stand on their own two feet with God's help. Once you've aimed and released an arrow, the direction you set is the direction it goes, you can't control its direction anymore.

An arrow has to be handled with care. It can cut and wound. So can a child. Many parents have firsthand experience with the painful proverb, "A foolish son is his father's ruin" (Proverbs 19:13). Even the mother of the wisest Child of all was warned that a sword would pierce her soul (Luke 2:35). Mary's motherly hurts must have been deep indeed, especially when she saw Jesus crucified (John 19:25).

Parenthood is not for the faint of heart. Arrows, after all, are weapons of warfare—a reminder that we have spiritual battles to fight, and so do our children. Yes, we need to protect our kids from temptations and problems too strong for them to handle at a tender age. But we can't escape to a desert island. Our job as parents is not merely to shield our offspring from the tough issues, but also to prepare them to "contend with their enemies in the gate" (Psalm 127:5). Christians aren't called to huddle in corners, but to approach the gates of our culture and fight the good fight of faith. We must equip our children to outthink, out-love, and outgive their non-Christian peers. "World-proofed kids" don't hide from the world; they change it and make it better.

This is a tall order—more than we can do without God's help. That's why the same psalm reminds us, "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain" (Psalm 127:1).